FAQ
If you’re still confused as to what to do for your child’s bar or bat mitzvah, here are some answers which can help you with your planning and preparation.- What is the first thing to do after receiving the date for the bar or bat mitzvah? Parents are highly recommended to consult with a rabbi or the mitzvah committee chair who can inform you about the rules in the synagogue. After this, sit down with the family to discuss what type of party to hold and if there’s sufficient budget for a celebration.
- What is the role of the parents in the religious service? Your rabbi will be able to tell you the extent of a parent’s participation during the ceremony. Depending on the synagogue, some parents usually the father may be asked to make a speech, give a blessing to the child or take part in certain parts of the service.
- Can we invite non-Jewish friends for the service and reception party? Feel free to invite friends who are not Jews. Just make sure that you inform them beforehand of what the service is about, how long it will take, what they should wear and the proper etiquette during the entire ceremony. Non-Jews can take part by simply attending, observing and following the worship service. They should be given invitations for the celebration.
- What is the proper attire to wear for a bar or bat mitzvah? For the religious service, women and girls should wear a dress with the appropriate neckline and hemline. They can also wear pants and pantsuits if they wish. Men and boys should wear coat with tie, suits and dress shoes. For the party later in the day, girls can wear their stylish dresses with or without strap or those with low neckline while boys can wear slacks and polo shirts.
- Is a gift required when attending a bar or bat mitzvah? Just like attending a regular birthday celebration, guests should at least bring a gift for the celebrant. You need not buy an expensive item because any useful gift will surely be appreciated. Make sure that it’s appropriate for the age of the celebrant. Checks and donations are also most welcome these days.
- What time is most suitable for a reception party – luncheon or evening affair? This issue should be discussed properly by the family. You will have to consider several factors such as if you’re inviting close relatives and friends who live out of town, the size of the celebration, the budget you have, among others. An evening event is more expensive but it can provide a more formal atmosphere. If you’re planning on a small gathering, a kiddish luncheon for your guests and the entire congregation will do. However, you’re free to hold both a luncheon and evening affair.
- What activities should be included in the party? As much as possible, include interactive activities which young kids can enjoy. Remember, kids have a lot of energy so it’s best that you entertain them throughout the celebration. Apart from the candle lighting ceremony, games, singing and dancing activities should be prepared. Craft making is ideal for girl celebrants as the projects can perk up their interest in various crafts.
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Tags: Bar Mitzvah Traditions