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Bar Mitzvah in Israel

Our Bar Mitzvah in Israel website is a free online resource for planning a Bar Mitzvah or Bat Mitzvah party in Israel

Bar Mitzvah Invitation Wording for Parents Who are Divorced

Invitations should never be missed when planning for a bar mitzvah or bat mitzvah celebration. There’s no exact rule as to what materials should be used and there are a lot of variations when it comes to the wording. They should, however, reflect the theme of the event or feature a single color or a mix of hues depending on the gender of the celebrant.

The invitation is normally given out by parents to special guests such as close relatives and friends of their child. These days, though, not all bar mitzvah or bat mitzvah celebrants have parents who still live together as some have divorced and may have their own respective families already. In this situation, some parents especially the mothers who are deeply involved in the party planning may feel uncertain as to how to write the invitation.

As this is a special celebration marking the coming of age of their child, both parents should provide their support to the celebrant. The names of the father and mother must appear on the invitation even if they’re divorced. One suggestion is writing the mother’s name first while the father’s name is underneath it on a separate line.

However, it really doesn’t matter as to whose name should appear first. As long as the parents are still alive whether they’re in good terms or not, the bar mitzvah or bat mitzvah invitation must list their names because it is their child that matters here.

Below are some examples of an introduction that include the names of both parents.

Mr. and Mrs. David Shilling
Request the honor of your presence
At the Bar Mitzvah of…
David and Natalie Shilling
Cordially invite you to join them
In a special celebration of…

For divorced parents who have their second families already, here’s a sample of an invitation wording:

Mr. and Mrs. David Shilling
and
Mr. and Mrs. Natalie Baren
Invite you to join us…

On the other hand, parents may also opt not to have their names listed on the invitation as it’s normally understood that the child’s parents are the ones hosting the bar mitzvah / bat mitzvah party. So in this case, the invitation may be written as:

With pride, gratitude and joy
We invite you to join us as…

With love and happiness,
We invite you to share with us
A special celebration…

Parents should keep in mind that their child has ties to each of them and it’s just right that they take part in this special and symbolic occasion. They play a very important role in the bar mitzvah / bat mitzvah celebration considered to be a rite of passage of their child as a Jewish adult. Psychologists confirm the support of parents to a bar mitzvah or bat mitzvah is most essential.

Divorced parents should be flexible as they prepare for their child’s bar mitzvah / bat mitzvah party. Those who are not in good terms are advised to set aside their differences at this stage for a smooth party planning and preparation. They should also consider the ideas of their son or daughter in the planning and most of all, behave properly during the celebration.

Read more articles on the subject: Planning a Bar Mitzvah

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